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While a young adult with classic autism may appear content with a solitary “monastic” lifestyle, this is often not the case with young adults who have Asperger’s syndrome or high-functioning autism.Clinical experience has identified that the majority of such adolescents and young adults would like a romantic relationship.But the good news is that, by understanding the way an AS man’s brain is wired and making the most of his qualities, it is possible to bring out the best in him – and have a fulfilling, or certainly less frustrating, relationship.Men with (suspected) Asperger’s are everywhere – in the highest offices of power and at the top of the most influential companies.A group of strangers sits semi-circled in a downtown condo common room. The young men and women here all have Asperger’s.“I’ve never had a date in my life,” says Tori Durham, 34.They shift in their chairs, smiling tense and attentive, and steal glances across the hardwood floor at each other. Benny Lai, 37, wearing a purple Raptors T-shirt, asks: “Will you help us improve our social skills and learn how to get a date?She explains she has a soft spot for animals, both her German shepherd and “cats trying to fit into spots that they can’t.”Symptoms of Asperger’s vary widely, but often include a lack of social intuition, obsessive interests and trouble reading body language.Getting a date — with someone on the autism scale or otherwise — isn’t so much the end goal as validation that Mead and others can start down the road to romantic intimacy.“It’s just chatting,” he says, his cadence flat but his lips smiling.

People with Asperger’s syndrome do not possess “Theory of Mind” abilities, which means they aren’t able to recognize and understand the thoughts, beliefs, desires and intentions of other people in order to make sense of their behavior.

Organizer Evan Mead at a social dating workshop for people with Asperger's Syndrome in downtown Toronto.

Getting a date isn’t so much the end goal as validation that participants can start down the road to romantic intimacy.

They also can have an extreme sensitivity to particular sensory experiences.

All of these diagnostic characteristics will affect relationship skills throughout childhood, and will eventually limit an adult’s ability to achieve a long-term successful relationship.

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